Don’t answer like you’re on an interview, answer anonymously if you want. But I wonder how much y’all mask in your day-to-day work life. I mean, once you’re hired and reasonably safe.
I spent most of my career in engineering running a fairly believable performance of a “normal” manager: eye contact I made sure looked natural, small talk I scripted in advance, a meeting persona that was maybe sixty percent me. It worked, in the sense that I got promoted at regular intervals. It also cost more than I understood at the time, and I only figured that out after I got diagnosed with autism and ADHD at 43 and went back through the receipts. The bill was huge!
What I can’t tell is whether dropping my mask early-on would have gone badly, or whether I just assumed it would and never tested it. I know people who unmasked at work and it was fine, and software is definitely one of those industries that tends to attract ND people. I know people who unmasked at work and got quietly managed out six months later, with a paper trail that never mentioned it.
So: how much are you performing, and have you ever tried dialing down some of that performing persona? What actually happened?